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Joke of the Day

"When can you count on a hamburger in an emergency? When the chips are down!"

"Why is Santa's sack so big? He comes once per year."

"""I live my life .402 kilometers at a time, chap"" - Fast and Furious 7: Now We're British"

"[job interview] ""What's your biggest weakness?"" ""My honesty"" ""I don't think-"" ""I broke into ur house and made love to ur cat last night"""

"Did you know Helen Keller had an amusement park in her backyard? Neither did she."

"The chicken Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He was to chicken."

"What do you call a dog wearing headphones? Ear bud"

"[OC] Did you hear the political interview in regards to homosexuality? It was hard to get a straight answer."

"2 Muffins are sitting in an oven... One says to the other ""man its hot in here"" the other one yells terrified ""OH MY GOD A TALKING MUFFIN!!"""

"Before mustaches were invented, people had to just GUESS who owned a water bed"