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Joke of the Day

"""There's a horse in my leg?! Why are you taking out my Adam's Apple? What's wrong with my nose?""- Guy from 'Operation'"

"I quit my job as a coffee shop manager The daily grind was just too much"

"What do you with an elephant with three balls? Walk him and pitch to the Rhino."

"Turned up five minutes late so missed the rules... ...but I had an amazing time at this fight club last week, you should definitely look into it and maybe join, we fight in a car park every weekend."

"Attributed to Mr Rogers... ...supposedly told by him to a FOAF on his first day on the job as a cameraman on Mr Rogers Neighborhood. Knock knock. Who's there? Fuck. Fuck who? No, fuck WHOM."

"What's the difference between a pickpocket and a peeping tom? A pickpocket snatches watches, a peeping tom watches snatches."

"What's the worst thing about eating a vegtable? Putting her back in the wheel chair..."

"What does my penis and bus have in common? They're both short"

"There's something I should tell you... ""Oh god what is it"" I have crabs ""NOOO"" *holds up two crabs* ""Oh I thought you meant-"" And HIV ""NOOO"""

"If I'm busy and see an interesting article, I open it in a new tab, read the first paragraph, and later, when I have time, close the tab"