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Joke of the Day

"Turned up five minutes late so missed the rules... ...but I had an amazing time at this fight club last week, you should definitely look into it and maybe join, we fight in a car park every weekend."

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"Where do ants go for their holidays ? Frants !"
"Cop1:did u hear about the kidnapping? Cop2: should we go help? Cop1: No it's ok he woke up. This fall on CBS ""Good Cop, Dad Cop"""
"i asked my trainer which machine at the gym i should use to impress the girls... he pointed outside and said "" the ATM machine"" i had 15$'s left though.."
"Why did the spy cross the road? Because he was never on your side."
"Someone from Cairo unfollowed me today which makes me think he must've really hated my tweets to find a way to get on the web to do it."
"I met a girl... I met a girl who had twelve nipples. Sounds kinda funny, dozen tit?"
"Developers don't spoon their SO They fork them."
"YOUR LISTENING TO MAGIC FM........pick a frequency, any frequency"
"What do you call a haunted accordion Polka haunt us"