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Joke of the Day

"I'm not saying my wife's a fat,...... I'm not saying my wife's a fat, greedy bitch, but she's just cleaned the cooker with two fucking slices of bread."

"I got a ticket for bandaging a cat's broken tail A cop pulled up and gave me a ticket for retailing pussy in a residential area"

"How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Don't be silly. Feminists can't change anything!"

"Teacher: 24 + x + 30 = 90. Find x. Student: It's between 24 and 30."

"What would you get if you crossed a monster with a redcoat? A bigger target."

"So today I was lookin at a girl bcuz she had a piece of lettuce in her hair & she looks at me and said ""I have a boyfriend"" ok lettuce head"

"A male feminist walks into a bar. . . Because it was set so low"

"After a long day, I feel like a bicycle Because I'm too tired"

"Where would you find the emo kid at his birthday party? Just *hanging* out by himself in the bedroom"

"Why didn't Rick Grimes settle his group in an abandoned senior center? Too many walkers."