64257

Joke of the Day

"I'm not saying my wife's a fat,...... I'm not saying my wife's a fat, greedy bitch, but she's just cleaned the cooker with two fucking slices of bread."

"TIFU by sleeping with my boss I should be getting a promotion any day now."

"What did Dr. Frankenstein say when his monster showed up for the ball? You look quite put-together this evening."

"Wife: You were right. Me: Say it again. Wife: You were right. Me: Again. Wife: You were right. Me: One more time. Wife: You wer- *wakes up*"

"Teacher: Fill out the parent form. Me: Why? Teacher: So I can contact you if your kid gets in trouble. Me: *writing* Raised. By. Wolves."

"We don't have Taco Bell in South Africa because this country's been through too much already."

"Airport bathrooms are home to the loudest, angriest, most unapologetic farts known to man."

"What's a redneck's favorite dating website? Ancestry.com"

"Two Tomatos A father tomato and son tomato were walking down the street. The son was falling behind so the father turned around and **STOMPED** on his son. ""**KETCHUP!**"""

"Racist jokes are all the same... Once you've heard Juan, you've heard Jamal."