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Joke of the Day

"(A math joke.) What did the acorn say when it grew up? Gee, I'm a tree."

Next Joke
 
"DUMBLEDORE: Say hello to our new Defense Against The Dark Arts teacher, Professor Totally-Not-Working-For-Voldemort. SNAPE: Dude, seriously?"
"How come sneezes get a ""God Bless You"" but coughs get a cold unflinching silence?"
"Looking at you is getting my dick harder than Chuck Norris"
"Condom bursts are like Hillary Clinton's e-mails. You can try to neclect it, but everybody knows it's yours."
"Forget hydrogen, you're my number one element."
"I got stopped outside the pharmacy today, by a woman holding a clipboard. ""What products do you use for grooming?"" she asked me. Her face looked quite taken aback when I said, ""Facebook"""
"A Mexican , a black guy , an arab and A Jew Jump out of a plane....who wins? Society"
"What does a mentally disabled lizard said to be diagnosed with? A Reptile Dysfunction *ba dum tss* I'll be here all night folks"
"How do you fix a woman's watch? - It doesn't matter. There is a clock on the oven."