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Joke of the Day

"Condom bursts are like Hillary Clinton's e-mails. You can try to neclect it, but everybody knows it's yours."

"""I've got toes in different area codes."" - Ludacris steps on a land mine"

"What dose a old lady got between her tits? Her belly button."

"Dandelions are just like regular lions, except they wear ascots."

"How can you lose around 10 pounds of ugly fat? Cut off your head."

"Use 'discount' in a sentence. Teacher: Johnny, please use ""discount"" in a sentence. Johnny: Yes ma'am, ""Does discount as a sentence?"""

"What is the difference between a turkey and my wife? I stuff the turkey before eating it."

"I don't know why everyone dislikes catholics... They are putting so much into the youth."

"Why do orphans play tennis? It's the only way they can get love."

"Q: Why do they call a horse a horse? A: Because they speak English."