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Joke of the Day

"""All the single ladies... All the single ladies... All the single ladies..."" - list of girls who wouldn't talk to me in high school"

"Q:What happens when your GF illegally downloads a movie? A:She becomes PirateBae"

"Why did Blitzkrieg work so well in France? Because lightning always follows the path of least resistance"

"A breakfast crime Did you here about the egg who *cracked* the case?. He was super *yolked* so it was *over-easy*."

"When a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist and a round thing in my face I get concerned about her disproportionate body shape."

"What's 18 inches long and hangs in front of an asshole? Donald Trump's tie"

"Doctors don't charge for circumcisions, they just take tips."

"Hi. I'm Sarah McLachlan. Every year, thousands of innocent dragons are hunted for their balls"

"Did you guys hear about the talking polar bear? He's very arcticulate! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!"

"My friend is addicted to interventions and I don't know how to help him."