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Joke of the Day

"Q: How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb? A: Twenty. 1 to hold the bulb 2 to turn the ladder and 17 to be on the guest list."

"what do you call a cow with no legs? ground beef"

"Horses kill more people than sharks, which is weird -- I didn't even know horses could live underwater."

"What's in a white mans pants and more than 4 inches long? Nothing"

"Anyone heard what Beethoven is up to these days? Decomposing!"

"Remember when you could strangle people with your phone? Those were the days.."

"Oh, you solved a murder? I guess that's cool. One time I didn't run over my ex when I saw him crossing the street. I prevented a murder."

"""If I could have dinner with any person, dead or alive... ..I would choose alive."" -BJ Novak-"

"Where was the NSAs wire taps when the McCallisters were leaving messages w all the neighbors that Kevin was abandoned & alone? Thanks Obama."

"French girls are great... For example, my French girlfriend taught me how to eat out in the bush."