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Joke of the Day
"Where can you always find money? In the dictionary."
Next Joke
"When most people say, ""I'm on a diet,"" what they mean is, ""I eat exactly as much as I normally do, but now I feel guilty about it."""
"Of course I can handle constructive criticism *resents you for the next 50 yrs"
"What do you call a midget Mexican? A paragraph, because he's too short to be an essay!!!"
"""Why did u jump off that bridge?"" My friend did it too ""Well if your friend jumped off a bridge would u?"" Yes. I literally just said that"
"What do fables and STDs have in common? Both can be passed on orally!"
"genie: ""thats definitely your last wish?"" me: [smiles at my wife in wheelchair] ""yes"" genie: ""ok"" our dog: ""how can i talk all of a sudden?"""
"Boss: Anyone have anything else to add to this meeting? Me: Yes. I am awesome. Boss.... Me: Write that shit down."
"Did you guys hear that the hadron accelerator exploded? It was mass murder."
"What's a feminist's favorite rapper? Feminem"