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Joke of the Day

"How many politicians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? You hold the lightbulb and every politician screws you!"

"All women really want is to be treated like you treat your iPhone."

"clever pupil makes fool his teacher PUPIL: Teacher, would you punish me for something I didn't do? TEACHER: off course not. PUPIL: good, because I didn't do my homework."

"The Molotov cocktail is of course named after Vitaly Molotov, an 18th century Russian industrialist who exploded after being thrown at a car"

"Whats common between dark jokes and little kids with cancer... They never get old."

"What do you call a sleepwalking nun? A Roamin Catholic!"

"[talking to family after emergency surgery] Your positive energy saved my life Surgeon: *waves hand* umm hello"

"I saw a sign at a drug rehab center It said ""Keep off the grass"""

"How do you give an ice cube an identity crisis? Drop it like its hot."

"Dating a single mother: It's like continuing from somebody else's saved game."