63741

Joke of the Day

"#hashtag From the stoners who brought you ""420"" and ""hella"" comes the hot new game Hash Tag!! cause, i mean, come on...regular tag just isn't that fun."

"Procrastination is like masturbation... It feels good at first, but in the end, you realize that you just fucked yourself."

"What do you do if someone is having a seizure in the bathtub? Throw your laundry in."

"When driving: *shakes fist at pedestrians* When walking: *shakes fist at motorists* When running: *shakes fist at the murderer chasing me*"

"""I'm telling you, it's all or nothing,"" the exterminator explains to Noah, ""I can't just leave 2 woodworm. It doesn't work like that."""

"Scientists have recently created a new hybrid by mating a male donkey and a female deer. It isn't very beautiful, but that ass doe"

"Boolean Algebra You either know it or you don't."

"Phases of love. 1) xoxo. 2) xxx. 3) ex."

"How many cis-gender white males does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. And it would be his privilege to help out."

"How many Feminists does it take to change a Light Bulb? Two - One to change the Bulb and one to Blow Me"