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Joke of the Day

"Why did Burger King decide to partner with Dairy Queen instead of McDonalds??? Because she unwrapped his Whopper. I'm so sorry!!!"

"Did you hear about the kidnapping down the street? His mother wouldn'twake him until 3."

"As a man, I honor Christopher Columbus every day of the year by refusing to ask for directions."

"Tronald Dump?"

"How many Irish folk singers does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to change the bulb and one to sing about how grand the old bulb was."

"wife: You're home early me [hugging the dog] I had to see you"

"I offered a North Korean some freedom He said ""Im glad its free but what the hell is 'dom'"""

"Today I found out what it feels like to be discriminated against. I was unfairly labeled a scrub JUST because I was hanging out the passenger side of my best friend's ride."

"The fish never seem to bite when I go fishing. I guess I just don't have the right allure."

"Waiter on ocean liner: Would you like the menu sir? Monster: No thanks just bring me the passenger list."