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Joke of the Day
"There's two things I hate. Hypocrisy and condescension. Do you understand what I mean?"
Next Joke
"""I hope she got fat, I hope she got fat"" - me looking up an ex girlfriend on Facebook."
"My Fitbit was delivered today. It's still sitting in the mailbox because I don't want to walk all the way out there."
"Pope John Paul is being sainted. What a snub to Pope George Ringo."
"What is the ONLY good trait of pedophiles? They always stick to the speed limit in front of schools."
"Have you seen the photo of me and REM? That's me in the corner."
"If I promise to miss you, will you go away?"
"Did you hear about the little person psychic who broke out of jail? Police are looking for a small medium at large."
"Here's an oldie but a goodie. Your Mom."
"What's the fastest liquid on earth? Milk. It's pasteurized before you can even see it."