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Joke of the Day

"What's the fastest liquid on earth? Milk. It's pasteurized before you can even see it."

"Why did the farmer put his cow on the scales? He wanted to see how much the milky weighed!"

"5-year-old: My teacher said this project needs adult supervision. Me: OK, what do you need me to do? 5-year-old: Go find Mom."

"Whats the best place to drive to in Iowa? The Middle. That way, you're always driving out of Iowa."

"What do they eat instead of ""pigs in a blanket"" in McKinney, TX? Pork in a roll. (At least I'm trying)"

"A pirate joke kind of day. What do pirates and pimps have in common? They both say ""YO HO!"" and walk with a limp!"

"""My girlfriend is a feminist"", I explained to my grandfather ""Well, heck son - nothing wrong with a feminine woman"" he replied."

"I've just read a book on how dramatically footballers wives lose their looks once their husbands retire.It's a real WAGS to witches story."

"Wife left a note on the fridge it says ""It's not working, gone to my mom's"" I opened it and opened a beer, it's cold, the fridge works fine?"

"I made this joke up in my sleep... seriously. What does a bird say when he enters Nofrills? ""Cheap, Cheap, Cheap..."""