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Joke of the Day

"Now that Justin Timberlake is married he might as well take sexy back and exchange it for some sweatpants and a recliner."

"How many cops does it take to change a light bulb? None. They just beat the room for being black."

"Been a while since I've gone on Spring Break. How many wet T-shirts should I pack?"

"A sissy in a Prius terrormobile tried to race me at a stop sign. Had him for the first 100 feet, but a fella can only walk so fast. Merica."

"What do triangles do in the summer? They tan."

"me: an open casket with my vape pen hanging from my mouth wedding DJ: i meant final requests for songs man"

"I'd like to see a world without plagerism You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one."

"Woman goes to the vet because her Great Dane keeps jumping on her when she is in the shower... VET: Ok, so want him Neutered? Woman: No, declawed."

"My asian girlfriend made me mad so I replied in text message with.. -_-"

"I know it's crazy to think that every time I have deja vu, it's actually happened before, but..."