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Joke of the Day

"Why did the archaeologist ask a diamond out to dinner? Because of his enthusiasm for Carbon-Dating."

"I wish I had a dollar for every time someone asked me if my hair really was ginger.. Then again I just wish people would talk to me"

"[grocery store with 2yo] Cashier: your son is so cute. What do you want to have next? Me: a vasectomy"

"Where do you see yourself in 10 years? In a mirror! Reply from my 9 year old brother, after my mom asked me this while talking about future career prospects."

"How can you tell when Dracula is sick? By his coughin'"

"""Hello, is this the number for Japanese food?"" ""No, it's Chinese. Sorry, Wong number."""

"I'm addicted to brake fluid... ....but I can stop whenever I want."

"[Classroom in 2064] Student: So how did the war start? Teacher: Well you see, Seth Rogen and James Franco made a movie.."

"I hate watching termites. They're boring."

"I'm going to name my dog ""Syndrome"". Whenever he jumps on someone, I can yell, ""Down Syndrome!""."