187144

Joke of the Day

"I wish I had a dollar for every time someone asked me if my hair really was ginger.. Then again I just wish people would talk to me"

"Do you know what your pimples do while you're asleep? Nothing really, the just zit there."

"What's cooler than being cool? Financial Stability *shoutout to /r/personalfinance*"

"When I see a flash mob in public I immediately join in to make it seem like they didn't practice enough."

"A wife told his husband to whisper her dirty things, the man then replied, ""The kitchen, the living room, the conservatory and the dining room."""

"Me - I'm not in the mood to work today My bank account - you better GET in the mood"

"What are we gonna do with all this extra cocaine? The previous sentence has never been spoken in the history of earth"

"What breathes out but never in? Your asshole"

"Bumper stickers are how we tell people we only had $1.50 to spend on a belief system."

"Dreamed last night the world was running out of air. We figured out how to make it with carrots and broccoli. Al Gore, call me."