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Joke of the Day

"I wish I had a dollar for every time someone asked me if my hair really was ginger.. Then again I just wish people would talk to me"

"How does someone with amnesia tell a joke? I don't remember."

"What is an injured persons favorite movie? Cast Away"

"""Nope, there is no i in team."" -Pat Sajak, accidentally giving away the puzzle"

"A grasshopper walks into a bar The bartender immediately says, ""Hey! We got a drink named after you!"" The grasshopper looks at him quizzically and says, ""You've got a drink named Leonard?"""

"...a dentist on a toothpaste commercial with stethoscope around neck..., if my dentist started to listen to my heart I would freak out."

"I wonder if Hitler ever thought... ""Crap, did I turn the oven off?"""

"Kids, eat your vegetables. *reluctantly, they eat* [2 hrs later] *I eavesdrop on their convo* Daughter: Unionizing will help us bargain."

"Wife asked me to fix a plug for her this morning... I refused."

"Just ran over chumbawamba with my car at 80mph Lying Bastards!"