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Joke of the Day

"You can learn a lot about a man based on how he responds to a bird pooping on him. Also background checks and digging thru his trash."

Next Joke
 
"TEACHER: please take off your hat in class *I take off my hat revealing a slightly smaller hat* ME: I can do this 14 more times"
"Whatever happened to silk underwear? A: Fell through the cracks."
"Breaking Bad is a horrible influence, making terrible things seem cool. Next thing you know, kids will want to start using flip phones."
"How many cops does it take to change a light bulb? None. They'll just beat the room for being black"
"Damn girl, if you was a fruit you'd be a fineapple, if you was a vegetable, I would visit you in the hospital as often as I could."
"What do you call a baby in a concentration camp? Baby Powder."
"My therapist advised me to feed and water my kids and cook my plants 3 meals a day. And something about listening."
"One liners are great. Two liners are better."
"What's the best part about taking a shower with an 11 year old girl? If you slick her hair back, she looks like an 8 year old boy."