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Joke of the Day

"Why did Timmy fall off the swings? Didn't have any hands.. (the real punch line) Knock knock.. Who's there? Not Timmy.."

"Why did Jim Morrison cross the road? To break on through to the other side"

"""i have good news & bad news"" wife: bad news 1st ""the washing machine broke"" wife: and the good news? ""the dogs are clean AF"""

"[wife explaining to me how deaths in movies work] So the actors really don't die? ""No"" So is Abraham Lincoln really not dead? *she sighs*"

"Ima dad that got his hairs cut yesterday. I felt a bit lightheaded this morning"

"Wife: I left the kids with you for a half hour & they dumped 3 pounds of sugar in the dryer trying to make cotton candy. Me: Did it work?"

"If my wife hates when I cum in her hair. Why does she keep leaving it in the shower drain?"

"I walked into my sisters room and tripped on a bra... It was a booby trap! ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^Stolen ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^from ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^The ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^Last ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^Of ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^us"

"Who is an archaeologist? One whose career is in ruins."

"Your Momma so dumb She bought a book on how to read"