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Joke of the Day
"What starts with e, ends with e, and has one letter in it? An envelope."
Next Joke
"When you say '' friends with benefits'' I assume you own a medical Marijuana dispensary and or a liquor store"
"Why did Jesus curse the fig tree? [God hates figs.](http://www.wikiwand.com/en/Cursing_the_fig_tree)"
"What do you call a reliable coke dealer? Instagram"
"How many Scientologists does it take to change a light bulb? What suppressive told you to change the light bulb? Report to Ethics immediately!"
"I'd like to buy a bed please. Certainly madam. Spring mattress? Oh no! I want to be able to use it all year."
"If I take a bite of your food at a restaurant and your food is better than my food, just be aware that our relationship is now in danger"
"Dont lie about your job, just word it better. Ex: ""I handle client transactions at a fortune 500 multi-national corp"" vs ""I cashier at KFC"""
"I love my electric toothbrush, but sometimes I just have to break out the acoustic."
"No thanks, people who hum to themselves. I've seen enough horror movies to know that you probably just killed someone or you're possessed."