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Joke of the Day

"I'd like to buy a bed please. Certainly madam. Spring mattress? Oh no! I want to be able to use it all year."

Next Joke
 
"Dear Ad Agencies, Please stop using doorbells in your TV commercials. On behalf of dog owners everywhere, Thanks!"
"A masochist and a sadist are having rough sex. Masochist: ""Hurt me! Hurt me!"" Sadist: ""No."""
"I hate it when I'm trying to take a selfie and somebody calls my camera."
"Why did tomato blush? because it saw the salad dressing"
"Yesterday I went to the doctor with a sinus infection But he told me it was all in my head."
"A blonde, redhead, and brunette were looking at a dictionary for the hardest words they knew. The brunette's word was quizzical. The redhead's word was photosynthesis. The blonde's word was dick."
"Embarrassed Shopper I get so embarrassed grocery shopping when I see the Salad Dressing"
"What do mopeds and fat ladies have in common? They're both a great ride until someone sees you on one."
"My son came home from school in tears. ""My girlfriend slept with my best friend,"" he said. I said, ""That's very flattering, I never knew I was your best friend."""