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Joke of the Day

"I'd like to buy a bed please. Certainly madam. Spring mattress? Oh no! I want to be able to use it all year."

"Dear Ad Agencies, Please stop using doorbells in your TV commercials. On behalf of dog owners everywhere, Thanks!"

"A masochist and a sadist are having rough sex. Masochist: ""Hurt me! Hurt me!"" Sadist: ""No."""

"I hate it when I'm trying to take a selfie and somebody calls my camera."

"Why did tomato blush? because it saw the salad dressing"

"Yesterday I went to the doctor with a sinus infection But he told me it was all in my head."

"A blonde, redhead, and brunette were looking at a dictionary for the hardest words they knew. The brunette's word was quizzical. The redhead's word was photosynthesis. The blonde's word was dick."

"Embarrassed Shopper I get so embarrassed grocery shopping when I see the Salad Dressing"

"What do mopeds and fat ladies have in common? They're both a great ride until someone sees you on one."

"My son came home from school in tears. ""My girlfriend slept with my best friend,"" he said. I said, ""That's very flattering, I never knew I was your best friend."""