63320

Joke of the Day

"Why are Americans bad at league of legends? Because they can't defend their towers!...i'm gonna get stabbed"

"If you`re not going to help me break into my ex`s house to delete the hysterical message i left on his answerphone,then you`re not my friend"

"Be kind to strangers. One of them could end up being your coroner."

"Happy 420 to me, Happy 420 to me, Its not 4/20 anymore, But fuck it, Its 420 to me!"

"I just opened a Capri Sun in the dark, sup ladies"

"Roses are red, violets are blue... I have a gun Get in the van"

"Have you guys seen this? Have you heard about this? Wow, what a tewwific audience."

"If Trump wins the election *Orange* is the new *Black*"

"They say a woman knows after 7 seconds whether or not she wants to have sex... Good thing I only last 5."

"*watches you carefully arrange the piles of paperwork on your desk *waits for you to finish *sets fan to ""oscillate"""