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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the dumb father who returned from lunch and saw a sign on his door ""Back in 30 minutes"" so he sat down to wait for himself?"

"Today I learned my laser pointer can go all the way to the bar across the street. Drunk people still think there's a sniper somewhere."

"Where do Polar Bears keep their money? In the Snowbank. My first post is a dad joke LOL"

"Save money this Halloween by utilizing last years' hobo costume to dress up as this year's federal employee."

"I will gladly eat anything I find in a fridge unless you put your name on it, in which case I will be full of guilt and shame when I eat it."

"I like my women like I like my soup... With most of the skin removed."

"""Let there be me."" God, just before he created himself out of nothing."

"I always cry at weddings, but only because being that close to large cakes makes me so happy."

"""Based on a True Story"" on a movie poster basically just means ""has people in it."""

"The phrase ""watching paint dry"" should be replaced with ""listening to people talk about brewing their own beer."""