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Joke of the Day

"I will gladly eat anything I find in a fridge unless you put your name on it, in which case I will be full of guilt and shame when I eat it."

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"An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman walk into a bar... the Welshman's not there because he's still at the Euros."
"This guy at my work is giving his wife a gym membership for Christmas. His name was John."
"""Snitches get stitches"" Cute little rhyme.. However I believe, ""Snitches never wake up again"" is more likely to deter snitching..."
"If A Book Store Never Runs Out Of A Certain Book, Dose That Mean That Nobody Reads It, Or Everybody Reads It"
"*licks stamp* hmmm tastes weird *mails letter* hmmm mailbox had wings *drives home on flying monkey* hmmm that wasn't a stamp"
"Last chance to use the washroom before I shower! Speak now or forever hold your pees."
"Conservatives after a mass shooting: ""You can't take our guns!"" Conservatives after a police shooting: ""But he had a gun!"" I'm confused."
"The shortest joke about Islamic State ""Made in ISIS"""
"Why is the Angel of Death so socially awkward? Because he sucks at life."