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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about that pirate movie? It's rated ""Arrrrrrrr!"""

"Why can't mites race in NASCAR? Because mites make rights, not lefts."

"Q. Why do men need instant replay on TV sports? A. Because after 30 seconds they forget what happened."

"I think it might be a good idea to not buy gold right now. Is a statement that is bound to get gilded."

"One of the band members of Chumbawumba were in a bar fight... He got knocked down, but he got up again."

"I tried committing suicide once... never doing that again, I almost killed myself."

"My girlfriend is like a lawnmower... Everyone is asking to borrow her."

"What do people hate about CEOs of big internet companies? They act too paowerful"

"""I just dumped my girlfriend lol"" - a cannibal after taking a shit."

"[astronaut test] Before you begin, questions? [hand raised] ""Is it true the moon is cheese?"" Are you that damn mouse again? [mouse runs out]"