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Joke of the Day

"I was asked on a biology test ""what is most commonly found in cells"" Black people was the wrong answer..."

"i started carrying a knife on me after an attempted mugging three years ago. since then, my mugging attempts have been much more successful."

"Before you say you ""value my opinion,"" just know if a genie granted me 3 wishes, one of them would be to star in Sister Act 3."

"I envy how comfortable Waldo always seems in large crowds."

"""STOP apologizing. You're sorry, he gets it, Jesus. You spilled a glass of wine, not fucked his wife."""

"What's the difference between Greece and a good software application? Greece doesn't have default settings!"

"How can you tell if your wife has been screwing all your friends? All their dicks taste just like her twat."

"What's the difference between a dwarven packrat and a venereal disease? One is a runt with a cache."

"How do you know when there is a bassist at your door? He can't find the key and doesn't know when to come in."

"I've spent 50% of my life learning how to live without drugs and alcohol and the other 50% happy."