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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a dwarven packrat and a venereal disease? One is a runt with a cache."

"TIL Lewis Black is still alive."

"WHATS UP!! WHATS UP!!! All the bulimic bitches in the house say ""BLAAARRGGGH!!!"""

"Why did the woman marry the shoe maker? Because she was his sole mate."

"Why did the heart get sent to police station? Cardiac arrest."

"I was walking through the park last night and one guy threw sodium chloride on me and another covered me in sulphuric acid. It was terrible. I didn't know how to react."

"Q: Whatever happened to the bedbugs who fell in love? A: They got married in the spring."

"[test driving car with car salesman] *parks on make out hill*"

"What shoe can fit 206 million feet in it? Honshu!"

"What do you say When you see your tv floating in midair? Drop it nigga!"