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Joke of the Day

"Today was the annual Running of the Bulls in Spain. So if you're sick of all the fake injuries at the World Cup, get ready for some real ones."

"Is it gay in here or is it just Glee?"

"Whatever I was born in like 10 mangers"

"One Scot came back from work earlier then usual and saw plumber's car in the front of the house. - Oh my God I hope it is her lover."

"Sorry but your password must contain an uppercase letter, a number, a haiku, a gang sign, a hieroglyph, and the blood of a virgin."

"What person strives to ensure safety for horses? Ralph Neighder!"

"Just met up with an old friend yesterday I asked where he's been I haven't seen him in years. He replied jail, cops don't approve of you selling pot in a school zone."

"Somebody actually complimented me on my parking today. They left a note on the windscreen. It said, ""Parking fine"", so that was nice."

"Please just wear the strap-on. It was a gift from Grandma and she wants to see you in it, OK? Come ON church starts in like half an hour."

"CW: Aimee, could I get your signature on this agreement? Me: *pauses* (with Cheeto stained lips) *kisses paper* CW: Me: That's my signature."