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Joke of the Day

"If a stripper got ""$20"" tattooed on each asscheek, she could bend over & say ""Hindsight's $20/$20!"" ...What a money maker!"

"My grandpa says our generation relies too much on technology... I replied ""No, YOUR generation relies too much on technology"", and unplugged his life support."

"Roses are red. Your blood is too. You look like a monkey And belong in a zoo. Do not worry, I'll be there too. Not in the cage, But laughing at you."

"Drinking wine & throwing away photos of my ex. This is how Lifetime movies start."

"Hi, fire department? My cat is in a tree. Television has taught me that this is your problem."

"Cat: ""What did you get him for his birthday?"" Dog: ""Pant . . . pant!"" Cat: ""Great . . . he needs a pair of pants!"""

"What is Somailias national dish? An empty plate"

"On a scale from one to ten, how obsessed with Harry Potter are you? About nine and three-quarters."

"GOD: I call them Water Buffalo ANGEL: But they live on land GOD: Yep ANGEL: GOD: ANGEL: u really dont care anymore do u GOD: Not a bit"

"Reddit is like my ideal woman with double D's"