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Joke of the Day

"Why do sharks circle their prey? ""dad, why do the sharks swim in circles like that before they eat someone?"" ""it makes them taste better, son."" ""taste better? How? "" ""it scares the shit out of them."""

"Why does Brendon Rodgers hate Twitter? It only allows 140 characters"

"What's Stephen Hawking's favorite meal? His shoulder. One more...what's black and sits at the top of a staircase? Stephen Hawking after a house fire. I'm so sorry"

"Q: What is lemonade? A: When you help an old lemon across the street."

"What was Han Solo's reaction to being taken to the carbon-freezing chamber? He was petrified."

"The in-flight movie is about to start. The flight attendant says, ""Excuse me, would you like some headphones?"" ""Well sure, but how did you know my name is Phones?"""

"What do you call a Mexican dessert that won't sink? (Or) What do you call an effeminate Mexican custard? Flanboyant Muy terrible. I know."

"What's the best part of eating a burrito? Every time you fart, you lose weight."

"What do you say to an overworked clothing maker? You seamstressed."

"Whenever I see Americans make fun of Kim Jong-un, I think to myself Come on, you're bigger than that."