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Joke of the Day

"The in-flight movie is about to start. The flight attendant says, ""Excuse me, would you like some headphones?"" ""Well sure, but how did you know my name is Phones?"""

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"After 20 years of marriage, I still get blow jobs. If my wife finds out, she'll fucking kill me."
"What does ISIS and a great joke have in common? A great execution."
"Why do deaf women wear tight jeans? So you can read their lips."
"Butter Sometimes when I am baking I mix I can't believe it's not butter and butter, so that way I have I kinda believe that some of this might be butter."
"A priest and a rabbi leave a bar ..., and see a ten year old boy. The priest says ""Let's screw him!"" and the rabbi says ""Out of what?"""
"Where do people in Detroit get their groceries? They don't."
"A waiter walks up to a table of older Jewish folks... A waiter walks up to a table of older Jewish folks while they are eating and asks: ""Is ANYTHING alright?"""
"What is a heroin addict's favorite website? Instagram."
"Last night instead of feeding my rabbit , I went out clubbing got really pissed and took drugs......I really let my hare down"