204714

Joke of the Day

"""Sooo sorry I fell asleep during your wedding. It was rude but your vows were like SO long. Anyway, you may now kiss the bride"""

"People with Tourette's would be great to take to improv shows where they take audience suggestions."

"What has 6 legs bits and talks in code ? A morese-quito !"

"What do women and hurricanes have in common? When they come, they're wet and wild. When they leave, they take your house and your car"

"Someone told me Harrison Ford is part Jewish. So it's fair to say, ""Han hammered first."""

"What do you call the spaces between the bits on a comb? Hair-vents."

"[at the hunting store] Me: where's the camo gear? Clerk [winks]: exactly"

"What is a Muslim's Favorite Dinosaur??? Allahsaurus!"

"sorry ladies, just changed my Facebook relationship status from ""Single"" to ""Costco Member"""

"I'm scheduled for a vasectomy next Wednesday, but I am a little worried. I hear it can make a vas deferens in my sex life."