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Joke of the Day

"Do you have any motivational books? Yeah, they're in the back. (long pause) Do you have any that are closer?"

"How did the sperm cross the road? I put the wrong socks on today. ^(credit to /u/jackster_)"

"Why does James Brown like South Korea? Because its got Seoul."

"So what do you guys think my odds are of getting hit by a car if I went out on my road bike right now? 4/20?"

"What do beekeepers say when they go to work? ""Alright, let's get down to beeswax!"""

"[on date] girl: ""id like to if i met mr right, how bout you? have you ever been married"" henry the eighth: ""our food sure is taking a while"""

"Hop on Pop is a fun children's book, Hop on Cop is illegal."

"So those numbers on sports jerseys are how many people each player has killed or what."

"Time is at once the most valuable and most perishable of all our possessions."

"What do you call a blind german? A not-see."