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Joke of the Day

"""can i smoke in here?"" ""sure go ahead sir"" ""thanks"" *lights scented candle* ""can i scatter rose petals in here?"" ""erm- ""can i dim the lights"

"I call my penis ""newborn baby"" Because sometimes I have to slap it repeatedly to bring it to life."

"How do you know when it's NotTheOnion? When they're still running pieces on Hillary Clinton."

"I just sold adderal to a guy who thinks its viagra! Ahh, he'll thank me later."

"What did the dick say to the condom? Cover me, im going in!"

"What is the favorite saying of a police officer in the Simpsons? If it's yellow let it mellow, if it's brown shoot it down."

"Nice shoes They really stand out"

"Two Bar S truck drivers get caught in a snowstorm. Stranded for days. They cannibalize each other than eat their product."

"What is a moo hoo for the bucket that goes at the back end of the cow? A tail pail!"

"My friend had asked me for tips that may help his erectile dysfunction Apparently, a hotter wife wasn't a good answer."