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Joke of the Day

"Its terrible how so few black people get nominated for an Oscar It's so sad they're not as talented as white people."

"Men are like remote controls. Simple. Easy to use. And usually lying around a TV."

"Scientists say the average size of the male penis has gone down to 5 inches. This just shows how big the Chinese population is getting."

"Wife: But the zoo told you never to come back Me: [loading hotdogs into shotgun] Those giraffes can't live on salad, Eleanor"

"Me: *Buys nutribullet* will this baby take down a vegan? Cashier: No, it's not an actual bu... Me: *loads nutrigun* Cashier: What the heck?"

"You shouldn't buy so much Velcro... It usually a ripoff"

"What is the difference between a vitamin and a hormone? You can't here a vitamin."

"Whats the difference between a piano, a tuna, and a bottle of glue? Anyone can tune a piano, but noone can piano a tuna!"

"The KKK was a conservationist group. They just wanted to put the monkeys back in the trees."

"don't get me wrong I love my life & family, but I'd trade it all IN A HEARTBEAT for the sweet parking spot I just saw this guy get at Costco"