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Joke of the Day

"In capitalist America, you grab people by the pussy. In Soviet Russia, you seize the means of reproduction."

"Got this super hard game on my phone called Bank Of America. You only get a power up every 2 weeks? Need cheat codes"

"Q: Why do Polish names end in ""ski"" ? A: Because they can't spell tobbagan."

"Today, I saw a sign outside a dental office that said ""We do our business in your mouth"" and I haven't stopped laughing."

"Bad Gun! Bad Gun!....Shame on you for making criminals do those bad things!.......And then those Forks that are making me Fat!!!"

"If you cut down a hundred trees, you are not a lumberjack. But if you suck one dick, you are a cocksucker."

"Bin Laden is also responsible for all of my typos and unfunny tweets."

"Today Grindr went down on thousands of people... Fortunately, there was no interruption in service."

"What do you tell an unemployed Rastafarian? Jah bless."

"Morse code is like taking a shower with black guys and asian Long short long long long short long short short"