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Joke of the Day

"My dad doesn't see why he should pay a mechanic to rotate his tires. He says they're rotating the entire time he's driving!"

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"What do women and floor tiles have in common? If you lay them right the first time, you can walk all over them for years."
"THE MERMAID WHY DID THE MERMAID WEAR SEASHELLS? BECAUSE SHE GREW OUT OF HER B-SHELLS !!! BADA BUM !!!"
"How much cocaine can Charlie Sheen Do? Enough to kill Two and a Half Men."
"Why aren't there any Calculus teachers in Little Rock, Arkansas? Because everyone there hates integration."
"Decided to plant some marijuana seeds in my vegetable garden hoping I could come up with some dope beets."
"Wife: ""The two things I cook best are meatloaf and apple pie."" Husband: ""Which is this?"""
"There are 10 types of people in this world... Those who know binary and those who don't."
"What do you call a jewish bodybuilder? Muscletov."
"MAMA Be quiet Freddie JUST KILLED A MAN As your lawyer I- PUT A GUN AGAINST HIS HEAD Just- PULLED THE TRIGGER- We plead guilty, Your Honor"