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Joke of the Day

"A man has an airtight bag of money He leaves it and comes back 10 years later. It is full of air. The son goes, ""the rate of inflation has just skyrocketed the past few years"""

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"Two old ladies are sitting on a park bench A man walks up in a trenchcoat and flashes them. The first lady has a stroke, the second lady couldn't quite reach."
"A Serial Killer Known For Ripping Out Tounges Entered The Buzzfeed Office And What He Did Next Left Us Speechless"
"Why does Tiger Woods bring an extra pair of socks while golfing? In case he gets a hole in one."
"Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic team? Anyone who can run, jump, or swim is already across the border."
"Just found out I have a tumor in my ladyparts... It's one of those that can be known to have hair, teeth and bone in it. I don't what I should do. I'll probably just get an abortion though."
"Yea autocorrect....I wanna luck your puddy and flick you in the asks. Perfect"
"Patient: Doctor you must help me. I'm under such a lot of stress I keep losing my temper with people. Doctor: Tell me about your problem. Patient: I JUST DID DIDN'T I YOU STUPID BASTARD!!!"
"Jack and Jill went up the hill So Jack can bang Jill's fanny. Jack came down with quite a frown Because Jill's a fucking tranny."
"What do you call a monkey in a suit? Over-dressed!"