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Joke of the Day

"A man has an airtight bag of money He leaves it and comes back 10 years later. It is full of air. The son goes, ""the rate of inflation has just skyrocketed the past few years"""

"99 little bugs in the code... 99 bugs in the code. Fix one bug, compile it down. 167 little bugs in the code....sigh."

"Before you judge somebody, you should walk a mile in their shoes.. That way you're a mile away from them, and you have their shoes."

"What do you call a Greek stripper? Popalottapus"

"The girl next to me is texting her friend about how there's an annoying guy looking at her phone, lemme show her which emojis to use."

"You know the 'Done' button you press to exit a video? How come it only sounds judgy and sarcastic after I've finished jacking off?"

"I found a dead girl on the golf course It was a difficult shot, but I was able to chip it over her head and right up onto the green."

"Paying for things with hugs Because it's legal tender."

"Just learned that if lightning strikes within 50 feet of you, you can speak every language simultaneously and pee out of your eyes."

"[at a party] *taps wife's shoulder* I've looked everywhere...where are all the swings? (wife pulls away from kissing Bob) ""What?"""