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Joke of the Day

"I'm a completely chill dude. But you try to cook my baby son in the pizza oven you built in your backyard... we're gonna have problems."

"How many sea men can fit in a circle 2 rads"

"What kind of people are always in a damn hurry? Russians"

"How many mexicans can you fit in a bus? All of them."

"Nothing solves all of life's biggest problems like a well-timed, awkward & overly complicated kick to the face. -The Karate Kid."

"Yo mama so fat when she moves, the space-time ripples are detectable with naked eye."

"Did you hear about the Guitar Player who got arrested last week? He was caught fingering A minor."

"What has gas, liquid and solids on it at the same time? Uranus."

"[end of long conversation] HER: let me give you my number ME: great! [forgot name] how do you spell your name? HER: ME: HER: k-i-m ME:"

"Why did the introduction and the conclusion break up? They were just never on the same page..."