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Joke of the Day
"What kind of people are always in a damn hurry? Russians"
Next Joke
"What does a German say at a Dude Ranch? AUDI."
"There's a secret evolution of Eevee I found today. If you pay your Eevee every day for at least a month, it evolves into Patreon."
"Kid: Are you the babysitter? Sting: Yes. Every breath you take. Every step you take. I'll be watching you. It'll be fun! Kid: *horrified*"
"[first day as funeral director] this is the dress she wants to be buried in ""It's very pretty but we highly suggest a coffin"""
"Knock Knock Who's there CD CD who? C DEEZ NUTS *ha* ^^*Got* ^^^*em*"
"Bi-Polar Bears usually attack without warning, then sob for hours while eating leftover walrus."
"Finally looked up from my phone screen and noticed I'm being passed around by the crowd at a Blink 182 concert."
"A dead-beat Dad is on AskReddit... He opens a thread asking ""Will my father ever love me?"" He hides the child comments."
"Created a Kickstarter for my movie. Hoping to raise enough for a popcorn and soda too."