61997

Joke of the Day

"I do my best speed walking when I'm trying to beat another customer to the checkout at the liquor store."

"I met a girl at a soccer game... ...I think she's a keeper"

"Remember being a kid and writing ""FiretrUCK"" everywhere, thinking your parents wouldn't get it? My dad just figured it out and spanked me :("

"My mom always said that I'd never find a man dumb enough to marry me. Well, I showed her..."

"What do a plum and an elephant have in common? They're both purple except the elephant."

"Did you hear about the cannibal's fashion consultant She had excellent taste. BA DUM PSH"

"Nothing screams DUI like wearing a really nice suit on a city bus."

"What do you call someone who throws up after drinking too much orange soda? ... Fantastic"

"I have ADHD and have troubles getting to sleep. Doctor recommended counting sheep... 1 sheep. 2 sheep. 3 sheep. Cow. Duck. Horse. *Old MacDonald had a farm* and bingo was his name-o!"

"The elephant asked the camel: ""Why do you have your breasts on your back?"" The camel, clearly irritated, replies: ""What a silly question from someone who has a dick on his face."""