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Joke of the Day

"I wanted to buy a patriotic decoration on my trip to China... but I worried the US customs officer would see it as a red flag."

"Why doesn't the man with an extra penis have any friends? He's too cocky."

"I want to apologize for the awful true things I said when I was angry."

"I tink Therefore I am Irish."

"Everyone's talking about how Shia LaBeouf plagiarized Daniel Clowes, but nobody said anything when Kristen Stewart plagiarized paint drying."

"Why aren't Tyler Perry movies for the light-hearted? They're dark comedies."

"Yo Mama so Old... She pre-ordered the BIble!"

"So the Boston marathon was yesterday... I heard it was an arm and a leg better than last year!"

"What's DJ Khalid's favorite number? 11, because it has another one."

"5 Second Fiction Thirty Two Yes she had once said ""Not if you were the last man on Earth"" but Barry was sure the actual Apocalypse had changed that."