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Joke of the Day

"hmmm this cereal is bland, tasteless, boring, flat, flavorless...*checks box* oh, Synonym Toast Crunch"

"""this wing of the facility is where we do updog research"" ""what's updog"" ""that's what we're trying to determine"""

"The good news is my black girlfriend says I have mean dick The bad news is she's a mathematician."

"Seeing as how reddit is taking so many pictures of lightning... Reddit must have some lightning fast reflexes"

"Everyone suffering from diseases and natural disasters: hang in there, we're liking Facebook posts as fast as we can."

"Hey girl is there wifi here? Cuz i feel a connection"

"[cow pushing 5 shopping carts out of store] Ugh, why do I keep shopping for groceries on 4 empty stomachs"

"What is it called when a bunch of people, all under 5'2"", go to a raging party? High wasted shorts!"

"Michael Jackson breaks into WALMART. He only steals lotion. Turning to the security camera he whispers ""smooth criminal"" and moonwalks away"

"They say breaking a sweat every day is one of the healthiest things you can do... good thing I eat a lot of Indian food."