61827

Joke of the Day

"What's a thimble? By definithion, thomething that represenths or thtands for thomething elth. Thymbolithm, y'know."

"What does a colour's laugh sound like? Hue hue hue"

"I was having a nightmare where a dude said he was going to kill me if I could not make him laugh... so I said... What gas leaves a pirate speechless? . . . Argon"

"My neighbour knocked on my door at 2:30am this morning, can you believe that, 2:30am?! Luckily for him I was still up playing my Bagpipes"

"Why did the investor invest in exercise equipment? Because it was worth the weight!"

"What's blue and tacky? Smurf shit"

"The Flash series must be really good... ...too bad everything happens too fast."

"I like my women like I like my whisky. 12 years old and mixed up with coke."

"""OOOOOH an email!"" - me, every single fucking time I email myself"

"If they ever reboot Grease, it must be directed by M. Night Shama-lamma-ding-dong."