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Joke of the Day

"From my 4 year old: What do you call a penguin that can't win? A peng-lose!"

"What do you call a joke that only works written down instead of told orally? A [sic] joke"

"What does a woman and KFC have in common? Well, you start with the breasts and the thighs, and you end up with a greasy box to put your bone in."

"If you're looking for something fun and exciting to do, why not try anti-gravity? It never lets me down!"

"Roses are red, Violets are red... Actually, I think my garden's on fire"

"Dear protestors, Rosa parks refused to give up her seat on the bus, she didn't trash it. There's a difference. Pls don't crucify me"

"You show me your boobs and I'll show you my tattoo... Tit for Tat"

"Fool me once shame on you, Unless you're speaking Spanish, then that's eleven times and I probably deserved it."

"I saw a hipster walking outside in the cold. He didn't have a jacket on, so I asked him why. He said he was outside before it was cool."

"Just got out of a 13 month coma Just in time to see my child born!"