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Joke of the Day

"I know I've had enough to drink when I suddenly know everyone's middle name and it's ""Motherfucking."""

"What do sex and air have in common? Neither one is a very big deal, unless you're not getting any."

"My favorite mythical creature? The honest politician."

"Your mom is like a bowling ball she gets picked up, fingered, thrown down a dark alley, and she always comes back for more."

"America leads the world in religious people who use 'bless your heart' as an insult."

"How many Creationists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? God."

"What can a goose do, that a duck can't, that a lawyer should ? Stick his bill up his ass."

"Me: Can I bet $20 on the Panthers to win the Super Bowl? Government: Sorry, no Me: Ok, can I buy 1k in powerball tickets? G: Lol, of course"

"I asked Mick Jagger to pick me up some swampy plants. But a Rolling Stone gathers no moss."

"I took a class on procrastination There was always homework due next week (. .) "