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Joke of the Day
"I'd like people more if they were kittens instead."
Next Joke
"""Your sense of entitlement is destroying our relationship"" *me to my dog while trying to eat without having to share."
"That gunk in your eyes when you wake up is dried ghost ejaculate."
"I get 9"" in bed every night. That's how much mattress is left for me once the dogs get comfortable."
"What is a Canadian's Favorite Game? Sorry!"
"How chi was the Olympics? So chi"
"1. Change last name to Crunch. 2. Join the military. 3. Work my way up to Captain. 4. Become Captain Crunch. 5. WIN LIFE"
"""Help me, I'm slowly turning into a ghost from the top down."" -Mrs. Butterworth"
"If you ever see a troll eat a fairy It's either time for rehab or you're on Reddit."
"War is God's way of teaching Americans geography. Homophobia is God's way of teaching us the names of Republican governors."