201815

Joke of the Day

"That gunk in your eyes when you wake up is dried ghost ejaculate."

"What RoflWhale really stands for. Rolling on the floor laughing while having a lubricated ejaculation!"

"Where was the Magna Carta signed ? At the bottom !"

"With oil prices falling... Burning the midnight oil just got cheaper."

"As I walk through the valley of the Shadow of Death, I remind myself that you can't always trust Google Maps."

"Nine years ago today 19 men came to my doorstep expecting 72 virgins. Little did they know how fucked they were going to be."

"Q: What is the difference between an UNDERWEAR & a STAGE CURTAIN? A: When you pull down the STAGE CURTAIN, the show is over, but when you pull down the UNDERWEAR..... it's SHOWTIME!!!"

"What do you throw on stage at a mouse strip club? Kraft Singles."

"What did Jeffrey Dahlmer say to Lorena Bobbit? Excuse me are you going to eat that? *Ellen Barken on David Letterman show."

"ME: need help? GIRL (having car trouble): could u give me a jump ME (inflating the bounce house I keep in my trunk): I thought u'd never ask"