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Joke of the Day

"War is God's way of teaching Americans geography. Homophobia is God's way of teaching us the names of Republican governors."

"Why does my van have windows? I want to make my victims feel like they have a chance."

"My neighbor won't give me a straightforward answer, he's always beating around the bush. Every time I ask why he just says ""fuck you Gerald, it's my bush and I'll masturbate here if I want to"""

"Son and a Blow Job A man is sitting at home and his son walks in from school. The son says ""Dad! I had my first blow job today!"" And the father says ""really? How was it?"" ""It tasted awful!"""

"What do you call a bar in Star Wars? A space bar."

"Is it hot in here, or is it just me? - Joan of Arc"

"What's Hitler's favorite letter? I don't know, but certainly not Z."

"I just whispered Beetlejuice 3 times and Michael Keaton showed up and asked for a job."

"What's the point of having nice tits if you're going to cover them up? Stop being so fucking greedy and unbutton your shirt like I do."

"My wife told me she ""likes it rough."" So I replaced the toilet paper roll with a sandpaper roll. -how guys understand women"