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Joke of the Day
"The gym got a new machine recently, it does everything! Snickers, twix, Mccoys, pepsi...."
Next Joke
"My films ended with the black and white era. The song-writers gone and the music-directors too. Noise rules."
"""Talk to me, Goose,"" Tom Cruise crackled over the radio. ""Squawk."" Goose replied before nose diving into the ground causing untold amounts of destruction, because geese can not operate aircraft."
"Life is basically trying to meet better people than the ones you currently know."
"Two guys walk into a bar. The third guy ducks."
"Dear High School Reunions, You are now obsolete. Please contact facebook with any questions."
"i get sad for like an hour and then happy for 5 minutes and then sad for another hour and then happy for 3 minutes omg break ups r real hard"
"Why did Rick Astley get fired from his job at the video store? Because he refused to rent someone a copy of the Pixar flick ""Up""."
"Need expensive surgery? Tell a surgeon you're auditioning a few before picking one. Have them do the surgery then say ""OK I'll let you know"""
"Juneau what Juneau is the capital of? No?... I guess Alaska professional!"